Yes, We're Going to Talk About Your Habits
I’m in the middle of two learning series, one at my church and one from James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits. Both are addressing easy ways to create better habits in the coming year.
Side note - if you aren't on James Clear's weekly newsletter, please join it. I am in love!
So much of what I am hearing from both these sources is actually landing on my otherwise cloggy ears when it comes to creating better life habits. I mean, we all KNOW we should have better habits. But, when the pedal hits the medal do we actually DO them?
Here are a few thought starters for you, especially as we hit February – the time of year when our resolutions and plans for better habits start to fizzle.
1. Habits are tools, not rules – Rigidity will get us every time. When a habit is rule-based - walk 5x a week, drink only on the weekend, call 10 new prospects each week – it feels strict and binding. The moment we slip, the rule is broken and we’re more likely to give up. A good habit is like having a tool in your toolbox. You use it at the right moment for the right reason.
2. Habits can help or hinder your growth – The habit of brushing your teeth? It helps you in the hygiene category. The habit of a side of fries with every meal out? It hinders you in the health category. Once we start to view not just the good habits we have but also the habits that are hindering our growth (interrupting, multitasking, half-listening), then we have a chance at building greater success in our lives.
3. One tiny habit can have a huge impact – In the summer of 2015, I quit my habit of daily, multiple Diet Cokes. No small feat for this girl, I tell you. But really, that habit wasn’t just about me stopping a daily thing, it held a LIFETIME of impact! Transforming even the smallest area of your life compounds over time. And that's no small thing.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MANAGERS
You too, manager, have habits. Lots of them. Some are good and serving your life and leadership and others, well, maybe not so much.
Here's a simple way to get a handle on where your habits stand.
Take out a blank sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side capture "HABITS THAT SUPPORT MY GROWTH AND LEADERSHIP" and on the other, "HABITS THAT LIMIT MY GROWTH AND LEADERSHIP."
Then get real.
Think about what is serving you - you make a habit of showing genuine appreciation, you have a habit of reading 10 pages of a personal development book every day, or you schedule time every week to get quiet and reflect on how things are going.
Think about what's NOT serving you - canceling 1:1s with your direct reports ("But, Cecilia, it was just those 2 or 3 times..."), complaining down, ignoring drama or conflicts, or your ego flaring up again.
Your answers on each side of the line can be quite powerful...if you let them be. Better habits are a choice. Bad habits are a choice (which I'm tested on every time the menu has nachos!).
But, my friend, oh what power in those choices!
Consider a few thoughts:
1. Part of a manager's challenge may be an inability to see and recognize limiting habits at work. Who is a trusted ally you can ask, "Where do I have a habit that is getting in my way?"
2. Conduct the above exercise with your team and edit the two columns to read, "Habits that support our team" and "Habits that limit our team." Talk about what the group is feeling about group habits and their impact.
3. Challenge yourself to create (and honor!) one single tiny habit this week. What area could you focus on at work (communication, organization, appreciation) and what area could you focus on at home (health, finances, relationships)?
About The Author
For the past two decades, Cecilia Gorman has helped advertising agencies and other creatively-minded companies fix costly communication and productivity issues by teaching managers how to become better connectors, motivators, and leaders. Cecilia is the author of Always Believe In Better, creator of the digital learning course for managers—Manager Boot Camp, and co-founder of the global training and support community for working women—Empowership.
Interested in growing your skills as a manager? Check out how Manager Boot Camp might help.