What Are You Avoiding That You Should Be Addressing
I’m halfway through teaching a training series focusing on getting and giving more constructive feedback at work.
Whether you are a manager who gives a lot of feedback or someone who receives it from your own boss or peers, I'm sure you'd agree that everyone could stand to be a bit better at it.
One of the hurdles that get in the way of giving feedback is having the courage to give it in the first place.
As part of this training series, I shared a worksheet where the attendees mark all the reasons they tend to avoid or procrastinate in giving feedback. Download it here.
Some reasons include:
I secretly hope it will just go away (that's me 🙋♀️)
I don’t want to hurt their feelings
I’m worried about how they might respond
I don’t have time (anyone?)
For any number of reasons, we often hesitate to step into the discomfort that surrounds feedback conversations.
Welp, not sure how that helps us at work.
Our best selves come via feedback from those who work with us and see and feel our impact. Our best selves come via the courage others have to be able to give us direction and guidance to help us improve.
Which, in turn, means that OTHER PEOPLE’S best selves come via YOUR feedback. The people on your team need your feedback in order to shift what might not be working in their favor. Avoiding feedback is essentially you letting them continue in ways that don’t serve them or their career.
What are you avoiding that you should be addressing?
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MANAGERS
I read this somewhere: "What's hardest to say is often what needs to be most said."
When it comes to the people you manage, the feedback that's toughest for you to give might be the most powerful conversation you can have to move their career forward.
Feedback isn't just for that moment in time - in that job, at that company - it has the potential to impact the rest of their career - in all future jobs they'll hold, at all future companies they'll work for. Friend, that's powerful.
If you are avoiding a feedback conversation, dig in. Ask yourself, "Why am I hesitating here?" Then counter with, "How powerful will this feedback be for them moving forward?"
Perhaps the answer to the second question fuels you with the courage needed to have the conversation.
Consider a few thoughts:
1. Catch yourself the next time you are dreading a feedback conversation. Create a list 2-3 benefits the person will gain by hearing what you have to share.
2. Focus on comparing the behavior to a standard. Verbalizing an expectation ahead of time makes giving feedback 10x easier and sets the standard for the team. Garner courage to approach the conversation by planning to first re-state the standard vs. calling out what's wrong or missing.
3. Spend some time thinking about feedback you've received throughout your career that made an impact. What happened in those situations that helped you not only hear the feedback but also apply it moving forward?
4. Want more help on this topic? Here's a link to a longer video training on giving and receiving feedback.
About The Author
For the past two decades, Cecilia Gorman has helped advertising agencies and other creatively-minded companies fix costly communication and productivity issues by teaching managers how to become better connectors, motivators, and leaders. Cecilia is the author of Always Believe In Better, creator of the digital learning course for managers—Manager Boot Camp, and co-founder of the global training and support community for working women—Empowership.
Interested in growing your skills as a manager? Check out how Manager Boot Camp might help.