A Horrible What-Not-To-Say Example
Sneaking in the last few days of November to, first, say, "Hi friend, I'm grateful for our connection." If you are new here, welcome. And, second, to share a story about a manager's recent performance review that got my goat.
It's Performance Review Season
We can't escape review time. Giving them is tough, getting them often tougher. As we get toward the end of the year and into the first quarter, a ton of companies (meaning managers) are gearing up to write and deliver reviews.
If you have taken Manager Boot Camp, you know there are a ton of resources in there to help you prepare for, navigate, and productively deliver feedback. Why? Because most managers tell me giving feedback is the toughest part of their job. The more prepared a manager is, the more productive the conversation has the potential to be.
Helping One Manager at a Time
My goal with Boot Camp is to help one manager at a time get a tiny bit better in how they deliver feedback. With every improvement comes another employee who feels better about themselves and the job they are doing.
Who I can't help are the managers of the managers who take Boot Camp - a Boot Camper's boss.
Cut to the story I'm miffed about.
A Boot Camper receives their performance review. Most of it is good, with a few areas of constructive feedback. A few days afterward, the Boot Camper comes up with a few follow-up questions and schedules time with their boss. *For any non-Boot Campers, we call this a "Boomerang" or "Circle Back" conversation, circling back to any conversations where you feel you need to address or clarify something.
The follow-up meeting happens, and the Boot Camper asks for clarification on a few points. They have a discussion, and the boss closes by saying, "This was a waste of time."
*SIGH*
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MANAGERS
Friend, this just happened! It's not like this is a story from 1995 when managers might have been less self-aware and not familiar with or comfortable being empathetic or compassionate. THIS WAS LAST WEEK.
Let's ask this: Is there EVER a conversation with a direct report where the boss saying, "This was a waste of time" afterward is OK? (hint: NO!)
Just because you think it, doesn't mean you should say it.
Sure, I've had plenty of work conversations where I thought, "This is a complete waste of my time." We are all guilty of this, are we not?
The finessing of our leadership means we catch the thought, refine the thought, then speak a productive thought. In this case, it could have been one that built the person up. One that rode the momentum from the performance review conversation. One that communicated support rather than shame.
Finessing our leadership is always the goal. And that's never a waste of time.
About The Author
For the past two decades, Cecilia Gorman has helped advertising agencies and other creatively-minded companies fix costly communication and productivity issues by teaching managers how to become better connectors, motivators, and leaders. Cecilia is the author of Always Believe In Better, creator of the digital learning course for managers—Manager Boot Camp, and co-founder of the global training and support community for working women—Empowership.
Interested in growing your skills as a manager? Check out how Manager Boot Camp might help.