A Kiss and a Kick

Ouch!

Have you ever been given a compliment followed by a put down? And you're just utterly confused over how to feel? The good ol' Kiss and a Kick tactic.

Yep! I'm sure we all have. As I was yesterday and I'm still a bit pinched over it.

Here's the story, you tell me if I've got it backwards.

I write a post on LinkedIn. A somewhat tragic one (imo) where a jerk CEO berates one of my advertising students during an interview. Morale of the story: Don't be a jerk.

It's been getting some great, passionate comments, which to me proves people can relate to being treated poorly by a jerk at least once in their career.

Last night, I get a message via LinkedIn from a local CEO. "I agree with you on your article. 100%. I just wish it could have been edited for grammatical errors."

personalgrowth

Dude! Why you gotta dis my grammar?!

My blood started to boil...over this tiny comment..for longer than it should have.

I ghost wrote pissy replies in my head. I imagined publicly shaming him (note the irony...the article was about NOT shaming people).

All over a small comment where << insert benefit of the doubt here>> he was most likely trying to help me.

Now folks, when you find yourself in emotional hijack over a sentence smaller than 11 words, you gotta stop and ask yourself a couple of questions:

+ why am I so mad over this? did the comment touch on a sensitive area? is there something about it that hit a chord of something deeper going on?

+ why do I care what this person thinks? does this person really matter in your world? are they a mentor, an influencer, or somehow connected to your success?

+ is what they are saying true? despite how the comment felt emotionally, is what they are saying true? does it help you in any way?

Trust me when I say stopping mid-emotional hijack to ask a few introspective questions is quite nearly impossible. It's a easier to stop and reflect the next day when your temperature has cooled down a bit.

Next time someone kisses then kicks you - Take a breath. Take a walk. Dust off and find the golden nugget within what they have said (any nugget you can possibly find) that will help you learn and grow.

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